The Internet can be full of ignorant know-it-alls who claim authority over subjects they don’t know, but perhaps not more unhappy than the Reddit man who blew up his entire engagement on a wedding dress on Wish .
The self-fulfilling tragicomedy of the Reddit user u / josh8449, now known as “Josh”, began like many adventures assh * towards quasi-self-awareness – with a post on r / AmITheAssh * le.
r / AmItheAssh * le / WIRED
For those who are out of the loop, “Am I the asshole *?” is a subreddit where the posters present a situation where they could have been an assh * le, and the community judges whether or not they really were. The most important rule for posters asking questions is that, even if they can respond to requests for clarification of information, they must accept their judgment without argument. Of course, for many people, this is easier said than done.
Enter Josh, a 38-year-old man who wanted to know if he was the asshole for telling his 27-year-old fiancé Emma that “his choice of wedding dress was far too extravagant and offered alternatives?”
Through a long wall of errant text strewn with errors, Josh exposed his side of the story. The details are as follows:
-Josh and Emma were to get married in July. The place was reserved.
-Both Josh and Emma had set aside $ 10,000 each of their own money to pay for the wedding.
-Emma found a dress she liked that cost $ 950 plus a veil of $ 120, for a total cost of wedding attire of $ 1,070.
-Josh thought that $ 1070 for a wedding dress was “crazy” and, therefore, told Emma no.
-Josh made his own “quick google around dresses online” and discovered “so many (dresses) like the one Emma wants for $ 50-100” on a “recommended application (sic) called Wish”.
-Emma didn’t want to wear a $ 50 dress from Wish for her wedding. She said she would pay for the dress with her own money. Josh continued to insist that his money was also his money because “we have eaten (sic) about to get married and our finances will be together”. At this point, Emma’s parents offered to pay for the dress, but Josh really wanted a hill to die.
– “She is very slender but apparently (sic) wants her to be specially adjusted?”
-Emma finally decided that if Josh was going to try to assert this ridiculous level of control over his choice of wedding dress that she was paying with his own money, then she must be wondering if it was really a good match for the wedding . Josh responded by yelling, “I told her she was like a toddler throwing a tantrum at a sparkling toy she couldn’t have.” This led Emma to stay with her parents.
Josh posted it all online, wondering if he was the asshole … And, yes, Josh was considered the assh * the – an overwhelming, overwhelming and unanimous conclusion.
Commentators have flooded the thread, ripping Josh’s stupid ideas piece by piece. Many of the responses focused mainly on Josh’s basic ignorance about wedding fashion. Users ranging from former brides to real marriage professionals tried to inform Josh that the average wedding dress costs around $ 1,600 – which means that Emma’s dress choice was actually very reasonably priced –– but more importantly, that Wish is by no means a valid option for a real wedding dress.
Wish, like AliExpress, is a large Chinese e-commerce company specializing in ridiculously cheap, low-quality, almost exclusively bootleg products that are often advertised using quality images of the authentic products they imitate. Wish wedding dresses have really taken on a memorable status among the fashion and wedding communities due to their extreme difference from the images displayed, with YouTubers hopping on the train. “It’s really funny when expectations are so far removed from reality,” YouTuber Tina Yong told Insider.
Thousands of people passed this information to Josh with overwhelming unity, barely a dissident among them. But Josh, the hard-headed fool he was, couldn’t handle the possibility that he could actually be wrong. And so he broke the cardinal rule of “Am I the Assh * le?” and discussed with the consensus. For some stupid reason, no matter how hard someone tried to help him understand, Josh simply wouldn’t accept that Wish was not a quality option for wedding dresses.
While Josh has accumulated thousands of negative votes with his rebuttals, commentators have begun to emphasize the bigger issues. For example, should Emma really stay in a relationship with a man who is 11 years older than her and continually insists that he was right to control her, yell at her and call her? Was it unique due to the stress of planning the wedding, or was Emma stuck in an abusive relationship? As the commentators sounded, Josh became more and more confused. (Sic) in advance: “It’s not even a big age gap! I’m not looking at it, you can’t tell or see if someone is violent or controls a creepy dress.”
Then Emma found the thread. We know this because Josh, while still chatting with commentators, essentially posted live to get drunk, fight with Emma’s parents over the phone, and ultimately blame others on the wire ( and also “sjw”) for ruining his relationship. It was around this time that Josh was finally banned.
But hell has no fury like a guy without the power of introspection, and so Josh decided to start sending angry private messages to posters he believed responsible for the deterioration of his relationship. Again, (sic) in advance: “f * ck this f * ck. It. All and f * ck emma for believing strangers on the Internet during his fiancee of 2 f * cking years.”
Except that the story does not end there. Later, since the message was deleted from r / relations, a user named u / throwawaywedding22 suggested that she was Emma from Josh’s message and provided additional context for the situation. Among the new details, Emma revealed that Josh had lied about their age. She is only 23 years old. He is 43 years old. There is an age gap of 20 years. In addition, Emma is the main breadwinner. Josh earns just above the minimum wage and has not, in fact, contributed $ 10,000 of his money to the marriage. Instead, Josh paid $ 5,000 and Emma covered the rest.
Emma said the wedding had not yet been canceled, but hopefully Josh’s message was a great wake-up call. Asked for a comment via Reddit, Emma replied, “Listen to your parents, listen when people tell you that the age gap is too great and stay calm, humiliated and always trying to navigate it all without falling Out of order.” If anything gets out of the way, it’s certainly the fact that Emma has a chance to dodge a bullet before being legally bound to a bullet.
And for anyone who might sympathize with Josh, let it be a lesson: when you don’t know what you’re talking about and someone with more information corrects you, maybe, just maybe, try to listen. Remember: this is not a dress, buddy. It’s about you.
* u / josh8849 was contacted for comment, but did not reply at the time of publication.